And I thought the Irish were laid back

Ahead of their clash with Ireland, the All Blacks have been met by a venomous column by Irish Independent writer Vincent Hogan, who among other things calls the All Blacks “bullies” and relishes their World Cup losses. Here’s a few choice quotes:

When they look at us they see lifelong losers

How many World Cups has Ireland won exactly?

The bullying gene in their rugby DNA practically froths and bubbles at the threat of losing to opposition of our calibre.

Bullying gene? Or it could be that they are in a no win situation, beat the Irish and it’s what was expect of them, lose to the Irish and, as Hogan puts it, go home in ankle chains.

They have a view of themselves that is routinely validated in competition.

To quote Kid Rock: “It ain’t cocky motherfucker if you back it up.”

Yet, once every four years, they go into spectacular meltdown. And when that happens, rugby has a grin on its face.

Nobody finds the All Blacks inability to win the World Cup more frustrating than New Zealanders, but I suppose when you support a team who has wins over the mighty Scots, Italians and Canadians this year, you need to find pleasure in other’s misery.

Outside of their own, few people love the All Blacks.

So Munster recruited Christian Cullen and Doug Howlett because they hate them?

Take golfer Michael Campbell out of the equation and exactly what else do they bring to mainstream sport on the global stage?

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Our three gold medals in Beijing to Ireland’s none, Blackburn Rover’s captain Ryan Nelson, or Steve Williams, caddy to a guy you might have heard of: Tiger Woods.

The Haka is, essentially, a leery war dance.

Now he’s grasping at straws, taking shots at a tradition that is over 100 years old.

When the mood takes them, the Blacks embellish it with a gesture that, to the naked eye, looks uncannily like a promise to slit the opponent’s throat.

Ah yes, the controversial ending to the All Blacks’ alternate Haka, Kapa O Pango. This throat slitting gesture hasn’t been used in over a year because of the stir it caused among our own fans, and besides, before going into battle, what’s wrong with a little intimidation?

(Clive Woodward) also sent O’Driscoll to meet some Maori elders for advice on how to meet the Haka ‘challenge’ (and we all know how that ended).

Are there some people out there who still think that was some kind of retribution for O’Driscoll’s “disrespect”? Whether or not it was intentional on the part of the All Blacks, it had nothing to do with O’Driscoll’s gesture after the Haka, but I think we’ve uncovered the root of Hogan’s bitterness here.

In his fine autobiography, Ronan O’Gara refers to the mauling he took in the New Zealand media after the Lions opening tour game of ‘05. O’Gara missed a few tackles in the victory against Bay of Plenty and the locals didn’t spare him.

“Ronan Keating would be a better tackler,” wrote one chap in the New Zealand Herald.

And now he turns his sights on the media. I’m a big fan of O’Gara, he’s a fantastic player who can control the game with his running, passing or kicking but in that particular game he was crap. The Bay of Plenty loose forward kept running at him and his attempts at tackling looked like something you’d see from a 10 year old. Comparing him to Irish pop star Ronan Keating is pretty funny in my book.

Face it, Dan Carter could run around in circles waving daisies for an hour next Saturday and he wouldn’t face that kind of guff from our own noble hackery.

I’m sure your fellow hack Steven Jones would delight in it actually.

Maybe that’s the thing about the Blacks. We pay them too much respect when, essentially, they pay us none.

Perhaps because of the four home nations, Ireland and Scotland have never beaten the All Blacks, Wales last beat them over 50 years ago and only England have consistently provided a challenge. The All Blacks deserve that respect, and on the paddock only England have earned it.

The All Black players themselves have shown themselves off the field to be humble and full of respect for their opponents. But on the field is where it counts, and no amount of bleating from an Irish journalist is going to change that.

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The And I thought the Irish were laid back by Hamish McBrearty, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License.