After hearing Springbok coach Peter de Villiers’s comments about the Schalk Burger eye gouging incident I am now completely convinced that de Villiers is a dickhead.

The incident has completely overshadowed what was a magnificent test and when fans should be talking about how it was the most exciting game of rugby played this year, instead we are comparing bans for similar offenses and discussing de Villiers’s moronic comments.

First of all I want to look at how the officials handled it, as they have come under a bit of fire. Assistant referee Bryce Lawrence spotted the offense after just 32 seconds and correctly put his flag out and reported the incident to referee Christophe Berdos. Language difficulties meant Berdos, whose English is sub par to be refereeing at this level, was originally going to award only a penalty against Berger. Lawrence then informed him that this sort of offense warrants “at least a yellow card.”

This sort of thing from an assistant referee annoys me because he’s really wimping out, Lawrence doesn’t want to make the decision for Berdos but at the same time is trying to guide him to the right decision. Secondly officials seem to have an aversion to dishing out a red card early in games as it essentially ends the contest but sometimes this is the right thing to do. This is why I like guys like George Ayoub, they aren’t afraid to make the decisions.

Now on to de Villier’s dickheadedness. After the game de Villiers told reporters that he didn’t think it should have been a card at all. Rugby’s three greatest sins are boots to an opponent’s head, biting and gouging, even if unintentional these are all severely frowned upon and to suggest that Burger should have been allowed to remain on the field is lunacy of the highest level.

After watching the footage again de Villiers changed his tune slightly, claiming that Burger didn’t do it on purpose and that he is “an honourable man”. Looking at the footage as a neutral I think you’d have to be pretty one eyed to think Burger didn’t do what he did on purpose, but then again look at what his coach is saying.

De Villiers went even further trying to claim that the Lions were somehow soft or that foul play was somehow part of the game. “It is a contact sport and so is dancing. Guys who can’t take it, let’s go to the nearest ballet shop and get some tutus”, De Villiers said.

Finally, to complete the utterly psychotic circle, de Villiers has issued a joint press statement with SARU president Oregan Hoskins saying, “We would like to apologise to the rugby community for the erroneous impression that acts of foul play are in any way condoned by South African rugby. That has never been the case and is not now, and we support strong action by rugby authorities when such acts occur.”

Really? Because the pathetic eight week ban is a slap on the wrist over what should be a very serious charge. Just for comparison, Italian captain Sergio Parisse was also given an eight week ban at the weekend for eye gouging, but in his case the citing commissioner accepted his defense that it was accidental, Burger’s case had no such mitigating factors.

Before the tour potential Lion’s flanker Alan Quinlan received a 12 week ban for eye gouging, while Fijian winger Seru Rabeni, who plays for Gloucester, received 14 weeks for the same offense. In fact, according to the IRB regulations, the recommended minimum sanction for “contact with the eye or eye area” is 12 weeks.

So it seems we have a perfect storm of incompetence all around, officials getting it wrong on the field, judical officer give an absurdly light punishment, and a coach defending the indefensible.

But perhaps I should leave the final word to Sir Clive “I sucked all the fun out of the last Lion’s tour” Woodward who said, “Eye gouging is usually picked up by the camera. If a referee or touch judge sees an eye gouging incident, you’ve got to go straight off the field, just a red card.” He then couldn’t resist bringing up old ghosts, “In my last tour we lost O’Driscoll after one minute and you should have had the same situation of losing a top player here.”